You are now safe.

We, the Norton family, absolutely care about the feelings of both the vegan and gluten-free audiences.



This is why, as you listen to the smooth tunes provided on this page to assuage your butthurt, we kindly offer the expert recommendations of:


  • Blocking us on social media

  • Getting a life

  • Getting laid (this one fixes a lot of problems, actually...)

  • Going on a real adventure that challenges your beliefs at the primal level for survival

  • Self-reflecting on how privileged you are that the reasons why extremely poor areas of the world are not culturally vegan for the same reasons why you are vegan in the first-world

  • Get real about how plants themselves eat the microbiological elements and nitrogen of the corpses of animals in a complete ecosystem

  • Learn about how even plants release ultrasonic emissions when they are hurt

  • Finding a chef who is less woke, and/or has lower testosterone levels


If you are vegan, feel free to remain in this digital safe place for as long as you wish. We are here for you.

If you are a vegan who has been offended by this page, please contact us to reset the timer for days passed since the last one has been offended.

We like to keep track. 👍

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